Middle age has made hair loss impossible to ignore. Since February, I’ve been using minoxidil tincture, and the improvement at the crown is obvious enough to make me genuinely happy. So I’m sticking with it.

I also roughly counted my reading for the first half of 2025: about 50 books, which means I’ve already finished my reading goal for the entire year.

That happened early for a simple reason—I’ve had more free time than expected. And the reason for that free time is less cheerful: business has been bad, and I’m still operating at a loss.

Some people would ask why I’m not pushing harder if business is weak. But when business is bad, there are fewer orders and thinner margins. "Trying harder" often just means accepting even lower profits than everyone else, or dropping below everyone else’s bottom line, fighting to the death through sheer internal competition until you become the king of overwork. That’s not the life I want. So instead of grinding myself down, I’d rather lie low and wait for a better season.

How do I get by while losing money? Low desires, plus the A-share market.

Reading may be contributing to the hair loss, but it may also be one reason I’ve managed to beat the index in the stock market. If the market can bring in a little extra money, then I can afford to slow down, and slowing down lets me read with a calmer mind.

Of course, reading isn’t always peaceful. Books that really demand concentration can get irritating after a while. For a change of pace, I’ve been playing NetEase’s Where Winds Meet. But even after reaching level 55, I still couldn’t beat the minor boss Xiao Shiqi, which tells you everything about my lack of gaming talent.

Still, it’s a good game. The story has a grand, sweeping structure, the kind of chivalric spirit that brings to mind the classic ideal of "the greatest hero serves the people." Even just watching animated edits of it on Bilibili can be moving. The animation and soundtrack are both strong, and if you just play through it like a single-player story, it works perfectly well that way too.

That said, an older man playing games always feels faintly unserious. So after a short session, I hurry back to my books, as if that can prove I haven’t wasted my life.